Reflections
by Seki
Summary: Rukawa thinks about Hanamichi...who is and will not be with him anymore... Yaoi. RuHana/Senhana


Notes: This is a very short one-shot. My one-shots are always short anyway ^^; Was on an angst rampage a long time ago and this was one of the products. Pairings: RuHana and SenHana.

Disclaimer: The characters don't belong to me. Tis a sad truth.

Reflections 

I stare out of the window, in deep thought. Damn. Why am I thinking of him again? I should be over him already. Gotten over his cute face, his sweet smile, his bright honey eyes, his hot body....NO! I shook my head furiously. I shouldn't think about him any longer. Not when I left him in the rain, crying his heart out a year ago, not when he...he..he belonged to another now. Another, who had that repulsively easy smile hanging on his lips. He had been my rival for the longest time, ever since I set my eyes on him during the practice match. Ever since HE set his eyes on MY do'aho. 

Do'aho...my pet name for him. It sounds so sweet on my lips. I know he loved it after we got together, even though he always looked like I was one of his greatest nemesis in the whole wide world. Or maybe I was, but it was totally different after I got Akagi Haruko out of the way. But I forgot about the pervert. Sly, standing there, waiting for his ultimate chance. I shouldn't have told my koi that we should break up. But it was just so damn hard for me to ask him to go with me to America. We both had our own dreams to follow... ...

* Flashback *

Hanamichi took out a letter from a mailbox. His eyes brightened up when he saw the sender and the contents of the letter. He hurried to call the most important person to him at that point of his life. 

'He'll be happy for me. Maybe we can even train together...' 

"Hai! I'm gonna join the National team! I'll be with you, wouldn't I? Just imagine, we'll be the youngest in the national team! Only university year-one students!! We'll be the flaming duo there...."

Rukawa just smiled quietly as he listened to Hanamichi's excited rambling. So, his redhead was going to join the National Team along with him. That was good. he could see Hanamichi more often then. As well as keep him away from Sendoh, who happened to be in the same university as Hanamichi. He cursed himself for not getting into Kanagawa University, but went to T University instead. Plus, with his training in Japan's National team, it wasn't easy trying to make time with his redhead. This was indeed to his advantage, he thought, a smirk threatening to surface.

*************************

Rukawa stared at the coach, his face void of emotion. However, deep inside, there was a struggle between mind and emotions. He was accepted to join the NBA League. It had always been his dream to do so, but...Hanamichi wanted to stay behind, working part-time as an assistant coach back in Shohoku High School. What should he do? His heart was telling him that there was no way he could live apart from Hanamichi, while his mind kept persuading him to pursue his life-long dream. Love come and goes, doesn't it? 

Rukawa replied coolly in his stoic tone.

"I accept the offer. When must I go?"

Now the only problem left was how to tell Hanamichi that he was leaving him behind. 

************************

He steeled himself when he saw the redhead cheerfully striding towards him despite the heavy rain. Rukawa felt as if a sharp spear skewered him. In a matter of minutes, he would have destroyed that beautiful smile.

"Kitsune! What is so important to ask the tensai to come running to you in the rain like that!?" 

Hanamichi grumbled as he looked around the park. Because it was raining, there was hardly anyone there. He glanced at Rukawa, and almost immediately, the smile was wiped away. Rukawa's face was expressionless, just like his cold facade before they became an item. Hanamichi sensed something amiss.

"Daijobu, Kitsune?"

Rukawa stared at the concerned face before him. His mind was blank, and his heart and head were throbbing like mad. 

'Hana-kun....so naive and innocent. And I'm going to destroy all that in a few minutes' time...Gomen...this is for your own good. We can't go on with a long-distance relationship. I hope you can forget me, like I have to forget you....'

"Ha-Sakuragi...it's been fun, but I have to follow my dream. I've been offered to play in the NBA league in America." / Sorry. But I know your stubbornness. You won't be happy even if you come with me.../

Hanamichi stared into space for a while before blinking, realising the reality of Rukawa's words.

"Kit..Kaede! Chotto matte!!!"

But Rukawa was already walking away, his face contorted with the pain that came with his resolve. He was so lost in his own thoughts and sorrow that Hanamichi's cries became like insignificant noises to him. He even missed the shadow that was approaching Hanamichi. A shadow with spiky hair.

**************

* END FLASHBACK *

I clenched my fists, blaming myself for not asking Hanamichi's opinion. I assumed everything on my own. After I left,  I heard from Ayako-sempai that the do'aho had been acting strange. He even told her that he would have gone with me if he had to! But I knew that it wouldn't work anyhow. I stopped calling Sempai and tried to erase his vibrant image from my mind. But it kept popping out of nowhere. 

I discovered I couldn't leave him, and came back for him, in hope that he still had feelings for me. I was willing to do anything. I even enrolled into HIS University instead of my previous one. Laughing bitterly, I glared at the crumpled photograph on my desk. Our desk. Who was the do'ahou now? I had ripped that foul picture from the faculty notice board. I could not believe that smiling pervert had taken my koi away. How did he dare!? How dare he put his arms around MY Hanamichi, and announced to everyone that they were a couple!? The school even voted them for the best couple in the campus!!! Hanamichi belonged to me, and no one else. But I didn't dare to break them up. I had never seen the do'aho with such a blissful expression before. Not even when he was with me. All the shy looks, the loving gazes and the cheerful smiles. They belonged to me once. But, as reluctant as I am, I had to admit that all those had become brighter when I saw Hanamichi with HIM. This feeling was bittersweet. Happy that the do'aho was his beautiful self, and not what I left him to be, and bitter with hatred towards the one that can make the redhead smile and blush with just one word or gesture.

Then, I felt a strange sensation in my eyes, and wetness on my cheek. Tears? I've been crying? This was the greatest miracle I ever saw, other than the fact that a dumb, not to mention cute, redhead had brought  emotions out of me. I thought I would never cry ever since Nii'san's funeral. Now, I'm just crying over something as pathetic as not being able to get back what was mine. I rubbed the tears away furiously. Crap. I feel like a kid. Just because I can't get back what I want, I'm in tears. But they wouldn't stop. The tears just fall continuously. My eyelids are getting heavy. But I don't want to sleep. Every night, when I sleep, I have terrifying dreams that Sendoh would take my koi away to somewhere where I can never see him again. Only in school, when I am sure that the do'ahou is there in the university campus, can I fall into slumber peacefully. 

Hanamichi....what are you doing now? I hope, and I pray, that even when you're in his arms, you're still thinking of me. That I am your only love. Not Akagi Haruko. Not that easy-going pervert Sendoh. Not even those girls that cheer for you now during basketball practice. Only me. I feel the soft wind caressing my ebony locks. I lean towards it, closing my eyes, imagining that you have come back to comfort me. And I fall into deep slumber, where I'll dream of red-haired do'ahos.

~OWARI~


End file.
